Mark Dunk’s Blog

daughter emailed me this. sums up her life pretty well

You know you are a HORSE PERSON ….

WHEN you consider a large golf course as a waste of good pasture land.

WHEN you look at all the piles of laundry, and it is all breeches, horse blankets, saddle pads, etc..

WHEN you trade your car for a truck, so you can better accomodate your horses.

WHEN you see the vet more than you see your child’s pediatrician.

WHEN the floor plan of the house you’re building accomodates a horse lifestyle.

WHEN your horse gets new shoes more often than you.

WHEN your co-workers do a “hay check” on your clothes each morning.

WHEN you patch your mud boots with duct tape and slog through knee deep mud to get hay to your horse, who has commandered the ONLY dry spot for miles.

WHEN you get up at 5am every morning, walk miles to the barn to feed, muck stalls and ride without complaining.

WHEN you are totally grossed out by human hair in the sink or tub, but don’t mind horse hair in your washer, on your clothes or in your food.

WHEN you buy fifteen pounds of carrots a week, but would not eat a carrot if somebody paid you.

WHEN your non-horsy friend gives you a funny look after glancing into the back seat of your car, and you realize he’s noticed your whips and spurs.

WHEN you say “whoa” to the dog.

WHEN you pass up attractive social invitations because they’d confilct with your riding and horse show schedule.

WHEN the back of your station wagon is a supplementary tack box.

WHEN you choose your significant other partly on the basis of his attachment to your horses.

WHEN your mother, who has no grandchildren, gets cards addressed to Grandma, signed by the horses.

WHEN you do not think about how your car and house could be paid off with a savings account to boot if you did not have horses.

WHEN you buy land, you decide to build the barn before the house so your horses have a place to stay. Maybe you will even live in the barn too!

WHEN you talk about having a baby, people give you a really strange look and say, “I didn’t know you were pregnant”. Oops! You were thinking about the the four legged kind.

WHEN you give directions to your house and say, “It has lots of horse trailers in the front yard.”

WHEN you pull change from your pocket at work, and hay falls all over.

WHEN someone says, “Does anyone have a screwdriver?” and you hand them a hoofpick.

WHEN the doctor says the bump on your finger is an inflamed tendon sheath, and you tell him, “Oh, you mean a windpuff?”

WHEN you cannot imagine why anyone would think it kinky to own whips.

WHEN the real estate agent asks what kind of house you are looking for, and you say, “More than six acres!”

WHEN for once you have extra money to buy yourself something, but change your mind at the check out counter because that $25 could be an entry fee!

WHEN the horses get fed, but the kids have to fend for themselves.”

WHEN you poke your honey in the ribs, saying, “over”, in the kitchen.

WHEN you clean your tack after *every* ride but never ever ever wash the car.

WHEN you have the worming, vaccination and farrier schedules in your head, but frequently miss the kid’s piano lessons, boy scouts, or changing the oil in the car.

WHEN you yell at the kids, and the horse’s name pops out.

WHEN on rainy days, you organize the tack room, not the house.

WHEN your tax refund is targeted to a new saddle, not the family vacation.

WHEN you are unreasonably pleased to get a horse item, ANY horse item, as a gift. You say “They really cared!!!”

WHEN you stop channel surfing at budweiser Clydsdale commercials.

WHEN books and movies are ruined for you if horsemanship references are incorrect.

WHEN everytime you drive past a road construction sight, you think what nice jumps the barricades would make.

WHEN you actually get to a point where flies don’t bother you so much.

WHEN you kiss your horse more than the human members of your family.

WHEN your barn is cleaner than the house.

WHEN your horse is your favorite confidant.

WHEN you analyze leg and foot conformation on your friends, and think how corrective shoeing could improve their gait.

WHEN your mood today depends on how yesterday’s training session went.

WHEN you have a small knife on your key chain and you are a female.

WHEN you buy more carrots & apples than you can possibly eat.

When you plan corn on the cob for dinner just so you can feed the cobs to your horses for a treat.

WHEN the highlight of your day is working with your horses and your SO works by your side cuz its the highlight of his day too.

WHEN you have more pictures of your horses in your office than you have of your family.

WHEN You kiss your horse more often than your husband or boyfriend, and enjoy it more.

WHEN you consider moving into the barn, since it is cleaner than the house.

WHEN you would rather have electricity in the barn than a family vacation.

WHEN the aroma of manure smells homey to you.

WHEN you can find your boots in the dark by the aroma.

WHEN you talk to the horses like they were kids.

WHEN you hate posing for pictures unless you’re on your horse.

WHEN you say whoa to your truck or car.

WHEN you don’t notice the barn smells on your clothes or shoes and wonder why “regular” folks are sniffing the air

WHEN most of your social life is with other horse folk.

WHEN you get so mad that you can’t get cable TV out at your farm that you put in a satellite dish just so you can get more horse sports coverage.

WHEN you have a terrible fall off your horse, and your only concern is if the horse is okay.

WHEN you choose your clothes on the basis of whether you can wash horse slobber or manure out of them.

WHEN it snows, you clear the pathway to the manure pile first then the front porch and sidewalk.

WHEN you find hay in your bed too!

WHEN you would rather stay up with a friend’s sick horse than babysit her kids…. BUT you will babysit a friend’s kids while she stays up with a sick horse, even though you HATE babysitting.

WHEN you go on a diet for your horse’s sake.

WHEN you giggle when the horse farts in your face.

WHEN a new friend walks in your door for the first time, takes a smell and says with a smile, “I didn’t know you had horses.”

WHEN your first sign of spring is not seeing a robin, but seeing a fly.

WHEN you get a little whiff of manure smell and breathe deeper to get the full impact. That goes double for the smell of leather.

WHEN one of your favorite smells in the world is horse sweat on leather.

WHEN there are bits soaking in your bathroom sink.

WHEN you save every horse magazine you have ever bought.

WHEN you drive by ANY field ANYWHERE and look very hard for horses.

WHEN your horse gets vitamins and supplements everyday and you can’t remember to take vitamins yourself.

WHEN you can not make it to work because of bad weather, but somehow still make it to the barn.

WHEN you pass a Marlboro billboard and immediately notice the horse’s color, conformation, possible breed, gait, tack, bit, expression, and whether or not his mouth is being yanked on, but all you notice about the cowboy was that it was some guy in a rain slicker.

WHEN you stay up until two in the morning walking a colicky horse whose name you don’t know and whose owner you’ve never met.

WHEN your house is “decorated” with bits, saddles, bridles, halters, blanket racks, trunks, trophies and ribbons.